Perfectly Imperfect....

There's so many ways to describe families. Fun, loving, crazy, hardworking, God fearing, athletic, brilliant, talented and the list goes on. How would I describe ours? 

Oh boy, there's so many words that could be used. Way to many stories, moments and qualities to just limit it to one word....so I'll say we're perfectly imperfect!

I love my family. I love everything about them.  My husband is my best friend, my bestie, my BFF whatever you want to call it, that's him! Not sure if that's awesome or pathetic, or just awesomely pathetic, but I know I love him and am so thankful for him!  Our marriage is refreshing, and the best part about it, is it wasn't always this way. In the early years, if it was a gift, I wanted a full refund! 

It was nothing but a constant battle and eventually something had to give, something had to change. And after a few years it did. It started to change when we started to serve one another selflessly. When we did that, it unleashed the heart of the father at the very core of our relationship.

We have been blessed with five beautiful, healthy children and for that we are so grateful.  

I love that our children are all at different ages and going through different stages of life. Each one of our children are highly animated!  I love that at dinner each night our table erupts with excitement and stories that have us all laughing, crying and laughing until we're crying.

I repeatedly hear from people, "You have the perfect family!' 

Each time I hear that,  part of me agrees because I think they're unmatchable and perfect! But another part of me cringes. Years ago there was a season in my life when I felt inferior in comparison to another family, because I thought they were perfect. I started to compare our family with theirs and the comparison didn't empower me as a mom, it discouraged and crippled me.

 It wasn't until I was in the presence of this family on a more regular basis that I realized they too have real life issues, and struggles. Their children weren't perfect! They too needed to be guided, nurtured and disciplined.

What is a perfect family? One with no flaws, faults or outbursts? If so, that's not the perception I want people to have of our family.  We like other families have children who speak with more truth at times than one ever should. A perfect mom? Oh man, I sent my child commando to VBS this year without knowing it! 

I have four children to get out the door by 8am in order to catch the bus, can you even imagine the veins that buldge from my head in the morning as I realize the bus is around the corner the same member of our family (who shall remain namesless) has no boots on for the 64th day in a row?! We are definitely not perfect!

Moms I have two tidbits for you, the first one is : Don't compare, glean! Comparing will leave you feeling frustrated and like a failure. Gleaning will leave you feeling empowered and encouraged. Glean from those who have gone before you. Ask, enquire and learn from their mistakes and victories. 

Whether you have one child or fifteen, embrace them. Numbers don't make a great family, the unity and bond you have does! Invest, love and nurture the ones the Lord's entrusted you with. Make memories and be present. Learn, grow and become victorious together.

My second word to mama's is to use life lessons as teaching moments. Those stressful and exciting times you have during the daily grind, teach from them. 

What does that mean, what does that look like? Put handles on your words. Walk things out with them in a way that will cause them to always remember what you've imparted into them.

Here's a very recent precious teaching moment I did with our oldest son. Seeing as it's Valentine's Days in a few days, I had gone and picked up a couple dozen roses and other wild flowers and had arranged several small bouquets. 

When my son got home from school, he walked into a kitchen full of paper, twine, flower clippings and arrangements. 

He instantly asked what in the world I was doing. I said 'Hey, buddy, I've got something fun for us to do tonight! But first I need you to make a list of a few women that have made an impact on you!' Instantly he looked at me with his ever so unexcited eyes and said 'Oh no, Mom, what is this for?" haha. I was overly excited and said, 'Seeing as you don't have a valentine, I thought it would be fun for you to deliver flowers to these women'. 

He said 'No! No way! I don't want to do that!' To which I responded, "I know, and sometimes when we get married there's things we don't necessarily want to do, but we do it because we know it will bless our spouse.'' 

After he stared at me in a tone that only teen boys can stare at you in, he reluctantly agreed. Then said "Mom, this is going to be so awkward!" I said, "Yes, but it's going to be very awkward one day when you have to ask your girlfriends father for her hand in marriage.' 

Now he understood what I was saying. We were training him to be a gentleman and preparing him for the road ahead. After he loaded the flowers in the truck, we were on our way.  We went around to different homes that night blessing Grandmothers, and those who have invested into him. 

Did he say much? No, he said he told everyone I was training him to be a gentleman. ha!  This was a real life, awkward, fun, and funny teachable moment. Was it perfect? No! Was it funny? 

Oh you better believe it! Did it impart something into him? Yes. He saw the smiles, and the difference one bouquet of flowers and one small gesture can make in someones life.

 I was able to share that being a gentleman goes far beyond good intentions.

We have been given the awesome responsibility to love our spouses and to train our children. So instead of comparing with one another, lets vow to glean from one another. 

Let's ban together and strive for perfection, knowing that none of us have yet reached it. That we are all doing our best to be faithful in what He's called us to. Let's unite in purpose, heart and vision. 

Let's vow to do our part in building strong families, families that last! And let's link arms and encourage one another to raise Godly men and women who fear The Lord above fearing man.

Make New Friends...

Almost two weeks ago, I was having some quiet time before heading to work.  I prayed and asked The Lord to give me an obvious opportunity at work that day,  but not necessarily one that would have to painfully stretch me. As I thought of what I just said, I started laughing and then carried on my way.

Well, that afternoon I had what I consider an obvious opportunity! A few hours into my shift I had a mom come to me and enquire about some information. As we were conversing back and forth I heard a baby cry.  It clearly came from the direction of this mama, but there was definitely no baby in her arms. As I moved towards the cry I realized there was a precious baby boy swaddled on her back. Ohhhh, my heart melted! This boy was so precious! I patted and rubbed his back and we exchanged genuine smiles. I asked the mama where she was from and she responded, 'Rwanda'. As she said it, my eyes doubled in size! (I almost died.  I instantly wanted to hug her, to embrace her, to squish her, to lift her up and swing her around and ask 'If we could be BFF's?) Instantly I started speaking to her in Kinyarwandan. She was stunned and started laughing. We shared a few basic greetings back and forth in her native tongue as we both smiled from ear to ear. She asked how I knew Kinyarwandan, so  I was able to share with her about the mission work we do in her country and told her about the wonderful friends we've made there. This brief moment with her took me back to so many memories, so many living room prayers, visits and moments with our family in Rwanda. (We had received word earlier this week from our Pastor in Rwanda, that his daughter  had become very ill and was put into a coma. This girl is very near and dear to our hearts so was very hard and very sad for us to hear, but we kept faithfully praying for her healing!) Did God really send this women as a gift? A representative of a people group we love so much, yet feel so far from right now?  We talked for several moments, I then gave her my contact information and as quickly as she came, she was gone.

I came home from work that night and practically did a cartwheel through the front entrance and a back flip off the kitchen island where my family was standing. I completely interrupted every conversation taking place in the kitchen and started to share with them about my prayer and my newly found friend.

Over the next few days I thought about her often. I thought about being in a new country, a new culture, learning a new language, all alone.... just me and my children. Overwhelmed with emotion, I began to wonder if I truly understood bravery.   

We connected briefly over the next week, I wanted to hook up, to meet for coffee, to hang out...but I didn't want to push it. But after a conversation with 'My Erin', and although I know it's not proper to invite yourself over to someone's house, I did! Seeing as my invitation was so welcomed I pushed a little further and asked if I could bring my children too....aaannnnd since that too was so warmly received, I then asked if my husband could come as well! (Wink, wink!) She was eagerly receptive to everyone coming to visit that Saturday morning. 

Well you better believe first thing Saturday morning our youngest children rose early and did what all children do, they started with the questions! Yes, those questions!! "When are we going?" "How much longer until we leave?" "Can we go now?" I heard these questions repeatedly, so by 7am I had no choice but to jump out of bed and help them in their preparations. They coloured, they baked, they recited common rwandan greetings and they decorated a special gift for their soon to be new friends.

A few hours later the time came and we arrived at their home. The mama came to the entrance and greeted us.  She went straight for our youngest boy,  she scooped him up with a strong embrace and hugged him, swinging him back and forth. As she swung him, his legs dangled and swung back and forth beneath him. If you know Jamie and I at all, then you know when we saw this we died laughing knowing this was going to be a great visit! We all greeted one another with genuine hugs and godly affection and then the children ran off with their new friends.  We didn't overstay our welcome, although I'm sure it would have been embraced. It was such a beautiful morning. We prayed, ate, laughed, played and shared with one another.

I'm so thankful that God knows exactly what we need, when we need it. I'm so thankful for people, for diversity, for old friends and for the ability to always be stretched to make room for new ones. People and relationships are one of God's most precious gifts. And most of all, I'm so thankful that He hears even the smallest prayers and knows every desire of our heart.

Afterthought....

As I was thinking about this precious visit, I thought of how often we rob ourselves of awesome opportunities and so many deep friendships in exchange for a few quick 'likes', comments, or messages.' Because it's more comfortable... In this new era of 'social media' we've traded the deep relationships for surface ones. Sure, social media is great for so many things. It's great to stay in touch and to keep people up to speed....but why not slow down? Why not be more intentional. We can't become so comfortable creeping people and looking in from the outside that we forget what it's like to be on the inside. Social media will never trump physical touch and warm embraces. It can rob us of hearing the irreplacable sound of laughter, seeing the tears and hearing the quivering voice. It misses the unity and bond that's formed in breaking bread and fellowshipping with one another. Let's not let the opening of our laptops, rob us of the beauty and opportunity of opening our doors.

-h